What It Feels Like For A Girl
by Babykoalaprincess
Summary: I feel as if I should've noticed all of these things he's been doing. I have a delayed reaction when it comes to emotions. I think I may be falling for one of my best guyfriends again, Marth Lowell. Samarth Christmas oneshot AU.


_This oneshot is dedicated to a longtime friend/mentor by the name of Royal Kenya. If it wasn't for her inspirational works, support, and guidance, I would've never started writing fan fiction. Please be aware that this oneshot will be cruder than most other writing I've done, so prepare yourself for very graphic, raunchy, colorful language. _

_RK/Mummy, I hope you enjoy this oneshot. Please do not favorite it because I wrote it for you. Favorite it, if you truly enjoyed and loved reading it.

* * *

_

_What It Feels Like For a Girl_

_~a Christmas oneshot written by Babykoalaprincess (BKP)~_

Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots. Because it's okay to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading. Because you think that being a girl is degrading. But secretly, you would love to know what it's like, wouldn't you? What it feels like for a girl.

There are reasons why I hate being a girl. One of them includes that people label me as "tomboy", and think nothing else of me. Guys don't dig tomboys; it's a fact. The words "vagina" and "breasts" don't apply to me. I'm another being that is neither male nor "girl" to a guy's eyes … God, I hate my life.

It's a Friday night, and I'm sitting on my wonderful, comfy, grey sofa in the living room of my apartment. I'm on the phone with one of my beloved friends, Roy Ritchie. And what is he doing? He's bitching and moaning about his girlfriend, Peach Toadstool.

"Honestly, Samus! I don't understand why she got so upset that I did her laundry! I was going to take it out of the washer and put it in the dryer after the football game ended... but Peach had to come home early. And then she goes around shrieking that I ruined her clothes. I was being _nice_ for a change! I don't understand why she won't talk to me about this. She kicked me out of the apartment... but seriously. What does she have to hide from me now that we're together? Her underwear? Because I don't see how _that_ could be a problem..." He yaps on the other line.

I roll my eyes before leaning back on the sofa. Roy, you are a dope.

"Dude, she's obviously pissed because she's not comfortable with you touching her clothes. Maybe she doesn't want you to see that stuff yet. Or she feels looking at her clothes are more personal. I mean, hey. Even I have embarrassing gear that I'd save for a guy on a special night."

"Whoah, you for real, Samus? You... and..." Roy trails off.

"What?" I demand. Roy is really pushing the limits today.

"Nothing. I can't ever imagine you dressing up specially for a guy. Hah! He must be one lucky guy!"

I refrain from calling Roy a douche because that'd be immature.

"Thank you for reminding me that I'm still single, Roy. Can we please get back on topic?"

"Alright, fine."

"Okay, I think I know another reason to why she might be pissed. Did you separate the whites from the reds?"

"... Uh... No?"

"No wonder why she's pissed! I'd be fucking pissed if a guy mixed up my white clothing with my red! Congratulations, Roy. You've officially given Peach a new wardrobe of pink clothes."

"... Oh SHIT!"

"Yeah, that's what you should've said when Peach came home," I say, smirking at his misery.

"Awh, FUCKBERRIES! What the hell was I thinking!? I-.... Wha!? I-I can't believe I made that stupid error! How could have I put the reds and the whites together?!" He starts to panic before he regains himself. "... Samus, I think I've ruined about a six months of an intimate relationship."

I'm tempted to smash the phone back down on it's receiver. Seriously. Reality check for you, Mr. Roy Ritchie? Get a grip!

"Stop being a freakin' drama king. I'm sure Peach will get over it. She's probably in a bad mood because one of her kittens died, her therapist is being a jackass, and she had to cancel her flight back home due to a mix up. Don't be too hard on yourself, Roy. Give her some time and space, and eventually, she'll come to you."

"Oh yeah. Thanks. With my cellphone back at the apartment, how do you think she'll "come to me" if she doesn't even know where I am?" Roy inquires coolly.

"Women have their ways..." I say, directing my glance at the clock. Nine fifteen. Fuck, I've got to get cracking on my article.

"Yeah? Well, I better go. One of the customers at the coffee shop is giving me a cold look. He says I've been tying up the pay phone for more than half an hour and he wants to use it. I'll talk to you later, Samus," Roy says.

I smile. Finally, peace can enter into the apartment again.

"Alright, I'll talk to you later, Roy," I reply, trying not to sound too happy.

"Oh, and Samus?"

"Yeah?"

"I need you to finish that review of _Savage World_. The movie came out yesterday, and everyone on Half-Time knows the game inside and out. Get that movie review finished, woman! It has to be out by midnight or we're dead!"

You would think that a Journalism-majored-and-a-soon-to-be-Master-degreed young man would have more common sense about women, but not this.

"Thank you for reminding me, Roy... Ritchie," I place a strong amount of stress on that last word. "I am fully aware of my assignment. You need to calm down. Remember when we all went to Nintendo Anime Expo? Do you remember all of those fan girls?"

That shuts him up; I've officially mastered on how to shut a guy up. That's another one of my useless talents.

"... Yeah.... All of those girls... screaming... clawing at me once they figured out I was _the_ Roy Ritchie. Twenty... or was it thirty girls? I don't remember, that was so bad. I've blocked out all memories of those girls harassing me," he responds, shuddering.

"... You get the gist. We're already popular enough to have a guest booth at NAX and fan people all over us. You don't need to go all crazy about this shit because we're going to be fine. Breathe, Roy. That's a problem you have. Breathing. You need to breathe more and go with the flow," I lecture, and if I was there with him, I'd so wag my finger at him.

"Alright, alright. I get your point. Fine. I'll let you do your thing and back off for now. You happy?" Roy asks.

I smirk, "Very. Now you must go before the coffee shop owner kicks you out for tying up the pay phone."

"Okay, see you around, Samus."

"Bye, Roy," I say as I place the phone down on its receiver.

I relax on the sofa and sigh. It's been a quite day. I close my eyes for a moment to think and reflect. Sometimes, I can't believe I've made it this far in life. Sometimes, I look back and wonder how things changed. In one minute, you're drowning in schoolwork, trying to keep your head up in the water; and the next minute, you're surrounded by people you don't know, but are interested in; and then the next hour or so, you're waiting for Mr. Right to come. That's my life summary.

Believe it or not, I still can't find that one, perfect guy for me because of what I am. Or at least, I think it's because of what I am. All of my guy friends view me as a "friend", and I'm nothing more to them. Like Roy? I could've dated Roy back in freshman year in college. I had my chances. I enrolled into the same university as him. Roy is brilliant; he graduated a year early. But he was interested in one of my best girlfriends in my year, Peach Toadstool; and there are rules for me about a freshman dating a senior in college. So I forgot about him. There is Link Gaiden; he is also special. He is a total goof ball that could make any girl crack a smile across her face. However, he's also into my other girlfriend, Zelda Harkinian.

Life can be peachy at times. I remember back when Roy, Link, and I were single and young. We were all childhood friends despite our age differences. We all grew up in the same area of Nintendo City, the common side. I also remember what it was like back in the elementary years. Roy and Link would always be disgusted at the girls, pulling their bottom-eyelids down, sticking out their tongues, and teasing them. I'd ask, "What about me? Why aren't you making a face at me? I'm a girl too, you know." And then they'd say, "Eh. You don't count as a girl. You're... different." Different. What was so different about me? Did I really stick out compared to most guys in the world?

Despite the heartbreaks in college, I also remember how Half-Time came together. Roy and Link had me meet this playboy named Marth Lowell at this gaming tournament. I came with Peach and Zelda, and introductions were made. We all shared the passion for gaming, writing, and life. The six of us, all foolish and young, decided that we should create a website to devote our lives to review, criticize, and share thoughts about the gaming community.

We called ourselves Half-Time because half time is the period indicating half completion of an activity. We measure the pulse of gaming in half time. Roy is the head editor; I'm the night editor; and Link, Zelda, Peach, and Marth are all associate editors. We were broke during college, so we all decided to chip in and rent a huge apartment for all of us. Three girls and three boys were living together, studying for our degrees, working our asses off with the website, and trying to gain recognition.

All that hard work paid off. We not only gained local recognition of our website, but also national interest as well. From convention to convention and even on the social gaming network on TV, we were already famous and living life easily. The only thing left was to graduate, and continue to writing for Half-Time.

But things changed. It happened when Marth broke both Peach's and Zelda's hearts. Despite the fact that Marth has his special talents with women, he made the mistake of playing around with Peach and Zelda at the same time. Of course, we tried to not let these whole relationship battles between Zelda, Peach, and Marth get in the way. We were all friends, right? We had to keep everything together and stick by everything in the end. Marth dropped out of Half-Time, but was not kicked out of the apartment. There'd be this horrible, anxious aura whenever we were all in the same room. Only Roy, Link, and I could change the subject and shift the aura from tension to laughter.

Marth switched majors. He went from being an English major to a Culinary major in weeks. He claimed that writing was no longer fun and it set specific, creative structure for him. With him gone to different section of the campus, we were all happier. Though, a silly thing called love had grown between Roy and Peach and with Link and Zelda.

Link and Zelda moved out because of the landlord's rules about having a puppy. They moved to another apartment twenty minutes away from us, and that made things worse. Roy and Peach were getting really serious; Marth and I hated to walk in on them having sex on the living room sofa. They moved out as well so that they could have their own privacy.

And so, the big apartment is now deserted with Marth and I left. There's nothing bad or awkward between us; we get along fine. We're just like any other two friends. He treats me like he would with Roy and Link. Though, it's annoying to see Marth come back home with red lipstick all over his face and stink of expensive, putrid perfume.

Besides from Marth, the womanizer, and my couple-like friends, I'm still alone. Twenty-three years have passed, and I wonder when that perfect guy will come. I wonder if I'll find him at all. I loved two guys completely, and yet they were not the one for me. It was all because I wasn't girly enough. I'm still in that position eighteen years later. In their eyes, I'm another guy friend, but I have the slightest bit of feminism; so they can ask me silly questions about girls and their lifestyles.

_Do you know what it feels like for a girl?  
Do you know what it feels like in this world  
For a girl..._

Oh, how ironic. My ring tone is blasting Madonna again. Shit, I've got to change the ring tone and volume. Scurrying, I hurry about to the cell phone on the other side of the sofa.

_Strong inside, but you don't know it,  
Good little girls they never show it,  
When you open up your mouth to speak,  
Could you be a little weak?_

_Do you know what it feels like for a girl?  
Do you know what it feels like in this wor-_

"Hello?"

"... Yoooo!!! Samus, what up?" An all too familiar voice asks.

Jesus Christ, shoot me.

"... Link. Wonderful timing. And you _had_ to contact me via cell phone to use up all my minutes, hm?" I inquire.

"Hey hey hey! I forgot that you switched phone plans. Give me a break here!" Link says.

"I know, but I'm just messing with you. It's already past nine o'clock," I explain before smirking.

".... I... You..... You BITCH!" He screams.

"Hahahahaha! Insult me all you want, Gaiden, but you know that your reaction was priceless," I laugh.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Fine," he grumbles.

"Alright, what's up with you now?" I demand seriously.

"How did you guess something was up?" He asks suspiciously.

"You never call me after six o'clock unless it's personal issues," I tell him as I smile sadly.

"Oh.... Wow, interesting fact you picked up. But okay... Well, um.... I lost _it_," he nervously states.

"It." I repeat, confused.

"It. I lost _it_," he answers back.

"Umm... Excuse me? But what is _it_?" I ask.

"You know... I told you about it before... It's umm... What every girl dreams of," he replies.

".... A pony?"

"NO! NOT A PONY! WHY THE FUCK WOULD I GIVE ZELDA A PONY?!" Link screams.

"Okay, stop with the PMSing, dude. I don't know what you could-... OH! I see. Yeah, _it_," I realize.

"Yeah," he utters. I can tell that he's flushing over the phone; his voice gives it away.

"... How did you manage to do that?" I ask, baffled that any guy would be able to screw this up.

"Umm... Well, it dropped down the sink drain while I got it out in the bathroom," he explains.

"... Why the fuck would you keep an _engagement ring_ in the bathroom?" I irritatedly demand.

"I hid it there because that's the place Zelda wouldn't look for her Christmas present!" He angrily retorts.

"That still sounds pretty dumb to me," I respond. "You could've hid it between the mattresses of your bed, or maybe in a jar in the kitchen, or maybe even inside a CD player."

"Ugh... DON'T question what I did. All I can say is that I'm screwed. This is wonderful. One week till Christmas, and I lost the _one ring_ I planned to give Zelda," he groans.

"Can't you buy another one?"

"Fuck no. Why would I? That ring is my grandmother's. It's vintage. She gave it to me because she believed it would fit Zelda perfectly. It's a tradition in my family to propose to a girl using that ring. This tradition has gone on way before the Triforce was created. Do you know how long that is!?"

"Alright, fine. … Umm... Okay," I say before he continues to ramble.

"And do you know what my plans were for proposing?! I was going to have her enter our apartment with rose pedals on the floor, Makar trotting in, and having him lead her to the bedroom. I was going to stand there in a tux, and pop the question while playing "Insatiable" by Darren Hayes. Do you know what "Insatiable" sounds like!?" He demands.

"... It sounds like aural sex which sound similar to "oral sex"," I say blandly.

"Exactly!" He exclaims, "Aural sex! Do you know how embarrassing it is for a guy to play that song in front of his girlfriend? It's extremely embarrassing! It's humiliating! But I do it because I know that Zelda is worth it in the end."

"Do you know what you should do?" I finally ask.

"What?"

"Get a plumber. I'm sure Peach's ex-boyfriend named Mario would be a good one. I've heard he's done shit like this all the time," I advise. "I've also heard that he's also fought some random plant-like stuff that can be spawned within pipes. They're called, um, Piranha Plants or something."

"Okay. That sounds... rewarding. No wonder why Mario always wanted some ass from Peach when they were together. Anyway, do you have his number?"

"Yeah, let me get it from my address book," I tell him as I fish my contact book out from the my desk. Flipping through, I finally find it. "It's 1 (300) 968-3825."

"Alright, cool. Thanks for your help, Samus," Link tells me calmly.

"No problem," I insist. It's a lie. Oh God, even I know it's a fucking lie.

"Hey hey, sexy girl!" another voice announces from behind me.

I look over my shoulder. Marth grins at me as he tosses the apartment keys in the air and catches them. He slides the keys in his pocket and slams the apartment door shut. He waves as I nod at him.

"Was that Marth?" Link asks.

"Yeah."

"Tell him that I said hi," Link notifies.

"Alright, sure," I respond before turning towards Marth. "Hey Marth! Link says hi!"

Marth blinks a few times as though I announced that he was pregnant. I wonder if he's drunk. "HI, LINK!" He shouts at me.

"... Did you hear that, Link?" I ask, turning my back at the bluehead.

"Mm, I did," the Hylian says. "Well, I've got to go. Bye."

"Okay, bye," I say quickly as I hang up. I don't want to deal with that Hylian and that Altean at the same time again. I face Marth again, "Hey there, Marth. How was the party?"

He slips off his black, pea coat and hangs it up on the hanger. He faces at me and smiles. … What is up with that grin?

"Great. Do we have anymore Nintendo City Light?"

Go figure. He wants more alcohol.

"Sure, in the fridge," I answer him. I lean over at my laptop to type my article on the table. The keys click away as I frown with the sixth paragraph. I hear jingling of bottles as Marth carefully searches for his desired object. Finding it, his face shines in delight and grabs it from the fridge.

"What are you doing?" He asks while popping open the Nintendo Cite Lite beer bottle. He chugs it down while closing the refrigerator with his foot.

"I'm writing a movie review for _Savage World_," I answer, not facing him. I have to get this done. It's nine thirty and I only have two and a half hours to get this done. The keys continue to click.

"Awh, sick game! … But, not so decent movie," Marth says after swallowing another mouthful of beer. He coves his mouth with the back of his hand. I hope he doesn't puke all over the kitchen floor. I'd hate for that incident to happen again.

"Don't start barfing over there. Anyway, yeah. I'm comparing the movie and game, and tearing the movie apart. By the time this article is out, Hollywood will only be making a third compared to what they spent," I proudly announce.

Marth smirks at me. "Awesome."

I'm on a roll. I'm halfway done with my article and my fingers feel like they're on fire. Click click click my laptop keyboard goes. This article will rock. I know it. Marth wobbly saunters over to the sofa before plumping down on the comfy furniture. I slightly bounce upwards due to his impact. He stretches his neck out to see what I'm typing.

"... Will you stop that? I can't focus when you're reading what I write," I report as I turn the laptop away from his glance.

"You could use a semi-colon, you know. For those two sentences at the beginning of the ninth paragraph," he declares at me.

I hastily join the sentences together. "There. You happy? Anything else you want to critique me on with my article?"

"Insert colons and Germanisms. Those things do wonders when making a point," he recommends. He moves back to his side of the sofa and chugs another gulp of beer down.

"Dude, you know the rule. No food or drink near my laptop. This baby cost me a good amount of money. You get one drop of beer on it, I'll so kill you," I threaten.

He places his palms up in the air as if he's saying, "Okay, I'm harmless." I continue to type for another good hour. And during this time, Marth hasn't retreated back to his room. Strange. Instead, he only leaves the sofa to get more beer, go to the bathroom, or sometimes even do both in one get up. After his fifth beer, I'm finally done. It's ten thirty.

"Finally!" I declare, smiling. That playboy gives me a curious look and focuses his attention at my article.

"Can I read it?"

"Sure, go ahead," I reply as I pull the laptop towards him. He takes another sip of beer, and his eyes begin to skim the article. Only after a few seconds, he only has one reaction:

".... Wow."

"Yeah," I say, beaming.

"... This is good," he reports.

The whole world now feels like a decent place. God, this feels so good.

"This is really well done. See? I told you that you needed more colons and Germanisms in your writing. Your sarcasm is more evident and it's makes the article stronger," he encourages as he faces me and smiles.

"Yeah... I guess," I say, "... You know, I always wonder why you quit writing."

He shrugs as he scrolls down the word document. "Writing was becoming a pain for me. Cooking is easier. You just make something and boom, you're done. Writing is for those who are patient, eager to learn, and enjoy it. I enjoy it, but I'm too impatient."

"Hm... You could've be an awesome editor for a publishing company though," I tell him.

"Yeah, I could've. But I enjoy cooking a lot more," Marth explains as he finishes up reading the last few sentences. His eyes shoot towards me and he grins at me again. "I'm proud of you. You did a good job on this article."

My smile drops for a second. Did Marth, that rude playboy, just compliment me? For a minute, I take that compliment into account, slowly comprehending it. I feel the slightest bit of warmth in my cheeks.

"Um... Thank you, Marth," I mumble, shifting my eyes away to the hardwood floor.

He genuinely smiles at me once more. He looks sweet when he smiles at me like that. It suits him better than that sly, sexy smirk he always gives to girls. And it sucks because he's so finely made. He's got such perfect blue hair, beautifully shaped eyes, and nicely formed, thin lips...

"You're welcome."

"... Right," I reply awkwardly as I notice him swigging another gulp of beer. "Dude, are you sure that you want to drink that much?"

"Hm?" He asks with his mouth full. He swallows. "Yeah, it's cool. I'm Altean. That means my alcohol tolerance level is higher compared to some," he explains as he relaxes more in the sofa.

"How many beers did you have again?" I demand.

"About..... seven. Samus, I don't get drunk. It's not my thing. I only drink until I get that happy feeling in my body, and then I ease in a beer once every three or fours hours. That's how I roll," he reassures me before smiling in that comforting way again.

God damn it. I feel guilty for even looking at Marth like that. He's a guy. I'm a girl. And I'm his friend. What am I feeling right now?

"That sounds like a horrible way to roll. You don't need alcohol to make you feel happy. You are weak. There are healthier ways to "roll" without having to drink," I explain.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" He inquires.

I'm clearly inexperienced. I actually have no idea.

"Um... You know. Go... hiking or something. Go swimming or rock climbing. I don't know. You should do something athletic, happy, and that's better for your health than drinking."

"Mm... Or how about you go have some sex for your personal health?" He wily suggests with a wink. I widen my eyes in shock at him.

"You! You PERVERT!" I exclaim, flushing. How dare he!

"Hahahahahaha!!! You know that it's good for you. Release all of that sexual frustration you've built up for... what? Twenty-three years? Any guy would bang a virgin who's built up her sexuality for that long," he says.

"Well, I'm... waiting. I'm waiting for the right person," I slowly justify. "And if you're so interested in my so-called "sex life", then how about I ask you about yours?!"

After throwing that idea at him, Marth blinks a few times before considering it.

"... Okay," he answers with another innocent smile.

…. Okay?! Did that bastard say that it was alright that I pry into his sex life? Is he not aware of what I am? Or, more importantly, _who_ I am to him?

"First question, how many people have you slept with?" I quiz, wondering if it's too personal to ask.

"About.... a hundred and fifty," he responds, sipping his beer nonchalantly again.

Whoah. This guy has slept with more people than I thought.

"How many times have you had sex in total?"

"Umm... Let's see... I would say that's a good three hundred and seventy-five right there," he begins to affirm before stopping, "Wait... No.... Yeah. Three hundred and seventy-five. I've had sex three hundred and seventy-five times."

Holy crap. This guy must've been either really lucky or been a genius when it came to women.

"Have you ever done anal?"

"Yeah, of course I have. I've seen all parts of a women. I've done..." he begins to say as he slowly crawls towards me. His beautiful, azure eyes gaze directly into mine. He is not giving me his sex hungry look; it's more of a recognition face. "... everything. Everything you could possibly imagine with a woman. I've done every sex position. I've kissed every part, and I've done every get up. Everything. You name it, I've done it."

"... Do you like anal?" I ask as I nervously shift in the opposite direction of the sofa.

He moves back to his original seating position, and downs another taste of beer. "It's alright. It has it's moments where it can be good, or it can be bad."

"... I don't think I'd like anal," I state personally before shifting my eyes away, embarrassed.

"Eh, you never know. Some girls like anal when they thought they wouldn't. Some girls didn't like anal when they thought they would. It all depends on the person," he remarks as I nod.

"When did you first lose your virginity?" I inquire curiously. This is getting interesting; Marth has never talked about his romantic relationships before. Not even with Link or Roy.

"I lost my virginity at age fifteen. I lost it with my first girlfriend. She was a virgin too," he reveals before stopping. I see him really thinking about this experience because his face now seems... depressed. That's something highly unusual from the happy-go-lucky Marth.

"... She was my first everything: first kiss, first love, and first time. I loved her... I _thought_ I loved her," he corrects himself.

Wow. I never thought that Marth Lowell would have been so delicate when talking about this stuff. I guess he isn't emotionally strong like Roy or Link. He's a completely different person.

"I did it with her in a lake while skinny dipping. She and I had a blast, but then I had to run home naked," he explains.

I face at him, flabbergasted. He goes on:

"Some kids were coming down the lake that night. She noticed it before I did, and got her stuff together quicker than I did. I didn't have enough time to grab my clothes. So I'd hide in the woods and leave for home," he explained.

I'm shocked, stupefied. How the hell would some guy do something as crazy as this?

"How did you manage to not get caught?" I question anxiously.

"Well, this was at three o'clock in the morning so go figure. Nobody was up during that time. And if they were, I hid myself well in the bushes. But no, I was able to run home as fast as I could. If I heard a car or someone come close to me, I would find whatever that could conceal me entirely and hide there. It's not that hard. I used to live in Altea," he explains.

"Huh... Altea. The place where all of you rich folk live and down at least seven bottles of beer," I say, amused.

"Don't forget... We also have larger sizes compared to Hylians," he states.

"... Larger size with what?"

"You know... Down there," he says in a sly tone. "Seven inches long.... you heard me, Samus."

"... OH MY GOD. You're disgusting, Marth! Truly sick!" I shout, scrambling away from him and all the way to the opposite end of the sofa. He smirks once again.

"Hey hey! I thought you were over the "Boys have cooties phase!" You're twenty-three, and sexually pent up," he says with another wink.

"I never had a "Boys have cooties phase!", so I technically can believe that now boys DO have cooties after good eighteen years!" I laugh. He smiles back as well before also joining my laughter with his own. After we're done, I smile at him once again. He grins back.

"Well, Samus... It's getting late. It's almost eleven. I need some rest for the kitchen tomorrow," he says before getting up. He stretches his arms in the air and yawns. "Good night, Samus."

I smile warmly at him once more, "Good night, Marth."

He returns my smile and says, "Sweet dreams," before he heads back to his room.

It's my turn to blink in confusion. I've never gotten why Marth always says "sweet dreams" to me. I've noticed that Marth says something different to every other girl, but to me he always says the same thing. Sweet dreams. What does that even mean? I lay back down in the sofa and exhale deeply. I close my eyes. I would really like to fall asleep in someone's arms right now. And curse that Marth. I think I may actually have sweet dreams tonight...

* * *

I did not have sweet dreams last night. Or rather, I did but they were rudely interrupted. Twenty minutes ago, I woke up to Madonna again and heard: "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?" Peach Toadstool demanded to know. I explained to her that I was in the comfort of my own apartment room, and then she backed off... a little, but not entirely.

"Are you SERIOUS?!" She pestered.

"... Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I asked.

"Do you know what today is!?"

"... Saturday."

"Yes, it is Saturday. But did you happen to forget what happens every Saturday?"

".... Oh. Right. Saturday brunch with you and Zelda," I said monotonously.

"Yes. Brunch. Zelda and I have been waiting for fifteen minutes. Where the hell has your head gone?" Peach inquired viciously.

I sighed, "Apparently with Marth's after he downed seven beers last night."

"Get your ass over here soon, or Zelda and I will murder you."

Knowing Peach, I knew she would've kept her word. She always wants control of everything when she's pissed. Thinking back to what Marth and I discussed, I wondered if she'd be the type to like anal since she's anal about everyone else's business. I shook my head in disgust for what I thought. I shouldn't pry into Peach's sex life.

"Give me twenty minutes. I need to clean myself up," I said as I gathered my clothes to head to the bathroom. "I'll see you there. Promise."

"You better," she finally said with a click.

So now, I'm listening to the perfect humming of the subway rails. The train is shaking back and forth and everyone today looks all bright and happy. Kids are enthusiastically talking to their parents about going to the zoo; elderly couples are discussing about the museum of arts; and even young couples are playfully teasing each other. I hear the dinging of the subway stops and the robotic lady's voice overs about the next stop. I feel as if I'm the only one wearing a gloomy face. I feel like shit even though I cleaned up.

I chose dim, grey pants suit to wear today. Nothing too fancy around Christmas time. I don't need to impress Zelda nor Peach. They know me. In some ways, it's more relaxing. They understand things a bit more than guys do when it comes to emotional problems. But at times, it's also frustrating. They also don't seem to understand why I don't think twice about my appearance or why I am a "slob" at times. Who cares if I don't clean the apartment once every two months? So what? Does it matter?

I close my eyes, hoping to get more sleep. Though, the robot's voice says, "Next stop is the Smash Brothers District."

Shit, I have to get up. My legs uneagerly stand up as I try to shake off the drowsiness. I lifelessly hang onto the silver handrail to my right and wait until the subway comes to a complete, shaky stop.

"This stop is the Smash Brothers District. Please watch your step when you get off the train," the feminine robot voices again.

Some people hurry to the subway exit while I mindlessly stand there to wait for most people gets off. Right before the door closes, I also get off. I stride up towards the city's surface and notice to the familiar Smash Brothers District. I smile sadly because I know this place inside and out. It's a wonderful district filled with shops and restaurants. Everything is a Christmas frenzy. There are tons of signs advertising sales, deals, and percentages. Even the streets are decorated with lights and snow.

Walking down the sidewalk, I turn right. The winter wind feels as if it's slicing onto my cheeks. Burr. It's fucking cold. I wrap my white scarf tighter around my neck and bundle up my grey coat more. Just a few more blocks until I get there. Ah, there it is. Nintendo City's Le Petite Café.

Entering the building, I grin at the familiar hosts, Lucas and Ness, as I look around for those two troublesome girls. I spot them; they're sitting near the far right corner of the restaurant near the windows. When they notice me as well, I forcefully smile and wave as I begin to make my way over there. I suck in a deep breath before I greet them.

"Hey."

Peach smiles back as she stands up. She seems to be toned down since the last twenty minutes ago. Her golden hair is perfect: not a strand out of place in her typical wavy let down. With flawless, plush, red lips, ivory skin, delicate-looking cheekbones, and bright sky blue orbs, she looks as if she's a model. She's wearing a bright crimson, fashion designer dress, frilly and sleek. It outlines every curve in her body, displaying every sense of sexiness in herself. A sapphire brooch is pinned on the center of her chest along with her matching earrings.

"Hey. Finally. You're here. Zelda and I already sent in our orders. We already decided that you'd want the usual even though it's winter. So we told the waitress you'd want some Coca-Cola to drink," Peach tells me before hugging me around the waist.

"Oh, okay," I say a bit surprised. She is right on the money for what I wanted right now. I smile as I pat her back and wrap my own arms around her. I feel her sharp, sapphire brooch press against my chest. I cringe. When she lets go, the pain on my chest is gone and she smiles again at me.

That only leaves me to greet one other person, Zelda Harkinian. I face her, and notice how she looks the same. Her hair is styled in that fashionable, elegant look; two chestnut-colored strands are wrapped in cloth, and half of her hair is loose at the top while the other half is braided down. A stark complexion compare to her fair skin as well. She's wearing a cream colored blouse, skirt, and strappy shoes along with white tights. The outfit goes well with her porcelain-like skin. However, it looks as though she wants to camouflage in the pure, winter snow.

"Come on, Zellie! Give Samus a hug!" Peach urges.

Zelda, for some reason, looks more pissed off than usual. She's sitting with her arms and legs crossed and glaring out the window. This is really strange. Normally, that girl is always happy to see me and more calm than Peach. Zelda Harkinian is usually the one who goes and tells Peach to stop being pissy. Her deep blue eyes shoot towards me with a hated look and coolly stands up. With that pointed nose in the air, she looks directly in my eye.

".... You should date Marth."

"... Um, what?" I wasn't expecting her to say that.

"You heard me," Zelda says again. "You should date Marth."

"Are you serious? And is this why you look pissed off at me?" I demand angrily. Why the hell would she be poking her nose in my love life? It's none of her business!

The Hylian's brow furrows and she retorts, "I am NOT pissed off!"

Peach cheerfully smiles and butts in, "Sammie! Zellie and I were just discussing about how awesome it would be if you and Marth were a couple!"

"Uh... Just, Peach?" Zelda viciously inquires. "We've been talking about this for TWO months!"

Two fucking months. Wow, my girlfriends don't have a life anymore. It's not their life, so why are they giving such a damn about mine?

"Girls," I say calmly, resisting the urge to smash a lot of glassware.

"I really don't want you guys meddling in my personal life. It's... not cool," I finish hesitantly, containing every bit of rage boiling through my body.

Zelda and Peach face me as though they've been struck with lighting. They look at each other, confused.

"Excuse me? But, Samus. This is your LOVE life we're talking about. You have had no progress with it what so ever. You've only had... like what? Five boyfriends in total?" Zelda points out.

"Umm... Four, actually," I correct, slightly blushing at the amount.

"You see? You need a boyfriend," Peach also eggs on as I scoff.

"Girls, I don't need a boyfriend to make me happy," I lecture as I pause, "I mean, sure. It's nice. But I can make myself happy. I've got a wonderful career, apartment, and friends. Why ruin this awesome relationship with kissing, hugging, and... other intimate stuff?"

They both look at me again as though I've turned into a wild beast. They both sit down to relieve the shock they feel for me. I try my best to not roll my eyes for the second time. I grab the empty chair and seat myself down to look them in the eye.

"I mean, it's not that I don't want a partner in my life. It's not my priority," I explain again.

The girl from the Mushroom Kingdom raises an eyebrow.

"I think I understand where you're coming from, but... if you plan to live your life alone, it restricts you," Peach says.

"How so?"

"Your eyes open up to the world once you begin a relationship. Falling in love does wonders. Love opens your eyes to something that was always there. It doesn't matter if you have everything you need to be content because a loved one can change you. And sometimes, it's nice to change and experience something new with someone. You have someone to share your life with," Zelda informs. She smiles naturally to herself.

"When I'm with Link, I feel that we're growing together. Even when I'm without him, I still feel as if we're both changing together. And it's fun. He shares what he sees, and I share what I see. We compare what we see and talk about it: life, ourselves, and everything. He may not always be there twenty-four seven, but he's there for a good amount of my life. That good amount is important and precious to me because I care so much about him."

"Yeah," Peach adds as she smiles softly to herself, "Roy is one of those people who I want to be with. I want to be with him because we can both grow and learn together. I love him because he makes me see the world in different ways. He shows me his world, and I show him mine. I don't always talk about petty stuff in life when I'm with him. I love our conversations because we can talk about ourselves and what _really_ matters in this world. You know, humans, lifestyles, and how we all act. Love does miracles for everyone."

I stare at them with my throat dry. What on earth? Why are they preaching on me something silly like love? I wryly smile.

"Love," I allege as calmly as I can, "is a silly thing. Love is for fools. What do you do with love? Have sex. Love is nothing. Love is lustful. Love has only been a bitch to me. Why would I want to fall in love? Love ruins me. Love... goes.... and does hurtful things. Have you ever been in love, you guys? Love... breaks everything you've made. Love makes you increditably weak. Love breaks the barriers you've built as a human. Love turns your world upside down, and your life is not the same anymore. Love makes you change for the worse. Love destroys you. That's what I know about love."

My voice is beginning to shake and I feel the tears coming. Oh God, why am I starting to cry? I vowed to never cry in public ever again. Yet, why is my chest hurting so badly right now? That's exactly what I dislike about love. It hurts me and makes me cry. I avoid all eye contact with my two best girlfriends. So what if I didn't end up with either Link or Roy? Why should I cry in front the ones that stole the two guys I loved, my best girlfriends? They're all happy! I shouldn't be destroying their happiness! I'm their friend! The tears are starting to drip down my face. Zelda gives me a sympathetic look from across the table. She gently takes on my right hand on the table and covers hers on mine.

"Samus... Of course love hurts. Love is a bitch. We all know that. But what you experienced was not true love. Love is mutual. Love is patient and unexpected. You can't choose with who you'll fall in love with; you just fall in love. Love is something that is never made. Love comes naturally. That's why Peach and I have never set up dates for you even when we thought we should've. And if there's anything we've been noticing, we've been noticing that you and Marth are getting closer than ever," the Hylian explains.

I look at her. My face feels all blotchy, raw, and red. But the Hylian only smiles warmly at me. I also face Peach to my left, and she also grins brightly at me. The blond also covers her hand on my left. Their hands are warm and soft like the looks on their faces.

"Just because love has been a bitch a few times doesn't mean it always will, Sammie! You have to be bright when love screws up on you! Girl, we're always here for you! Remember? Chicks before dicks! Zelda and I both love our boyfriends, but you'll always be our priority in life! We won't desert you. Never. Not in a million years," she swears.

I face them once again, and I can't help but notice how understanding they are. I sob, and I try to regain my strength. I sniffle heavily. God, I don't care even that even Nana, the waitress, is giving me a strange look. I don't care about the people in Le Petite Café anymore. I'm safe; my friends will protect me.

"Thank you... guys," I croak as I wipe the remaining tears with my cloth napkin. When I finally look up at them, I grin broadly.

"Ah, now there's the lovable Sammie we've been looking for! You look better with a smile on your face!" Peach exclaims.

I laugh as I sheepishly glance down at my lap while still holding their hands. Zelda is affectionately smiling at me.

"Now back to what I was saying... You should date Marth," she tells me.

I roll my eyes again. Zelda is hopeless but I grin at her for her persistent behavior.

"Why?" I inquire, "I do not understand why you keep on bugging me about that."

"Becaaaaauuuuuuusssssseeeee," Peach whines, "Marth and you would be cute together. And recently, Zellie and I noticed that Marth always tries to get his hands on any female he sees. Look at us. He got Zellie and I at the same time. But he's never made a move on you. Zellie and I are suspicious of that."

"Well, maybe it never hit Marth that I am, indeed, a female," I defend.

"No, I don't think it's that," Zelda takes in account. "I mean, this is Marth we're talking about. He seems pretty chill and will get what he can. Not only that, but he also seems to be more loose around you."

This is true. Marth is normally more loose around me. He shows me his crappy, bitchy side all the time. The more I do think about it, I realize he has never flirted with me. He has never made any advances. Marth Lowell isn't the type who'll respect a woman when he sees one. Of course, he won't rape a girl, but he'll be acting like a horn dog. I flush when I think about what he said last night. "Sweet dreams."

"Has he been acting strange recently? Especially since when he said he was over the "random hook up phase", I still don't know if he has truly stopped," Peach snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Huh? Oh. Right... Umm, I guess. I can't be too sure on that. Every two weeks on Friday night, he leaves for the night and doesn't come back until late afternoon the next day," I confess. I really do wonder why Marth does that.

"I knew something was up," Peach hisses at Zelda. "I didn't believe Marth at first when he said he was over his hooking up phase. I think he may be still doing that."

"Uh, no. I don't personally think so. Because when he comes back home, he seems really energetic and hyper or what not," I retort harshly. Wait... why am I sticking up for Marth?

"... Definitely sleeping with people," the Toadstool reports to the Hylian. "He was always energetic after having sex with me."

This is bad; I've made the situation worse. I continue to say, "Umm... No, it's not only that. I've seen that he normally eats a lot of sugar, so that's why he's probably hyper or something... or I don't know. Maybe it's the coffee he drinks."

"I tell you, Zelda, it's definitely the sex. That Lowell guy was like that every morning," Peach confirms as Zelda nods her head in agreement.

God damn it! What the hell? Why aren't they listening to what I'm saying? I can't take this anymore! I abruptly stand up.

"Alright, listen here, Peach and Zelda! You shouldn't be judging Marth like that! It's not right of you to do so! It's immoral! You can't just believe that Marth is sleeping with girls when you don't even know that for sure!" I shout loudly at the two.

They stare blankly at me and the whole restaurant is silent. No one has moved an inch between those few seconds. All eyes are on me, but I don't care at the moment. I also don't care that I'm sticking up for my good-for-nothing friend, Marth Lowell. Both Zelda and Peach blink a few times, and they smirk devilishly.

"... We knew you cared a lot for Marth... But not _this_ much," Zelda says cunningly as my body turns cold with horror. Did I-... just get outsmarted by a blond and a Hylian!?

"Hahahahaha!" Peach cackles wickedly. "I wish I had a camera right now to snap a picture of your face! It's classic! We were only playing with you! Marth is never like that after he sleeps with a girl!"

"Oh really?" I snap sarcastically.

"Yeah! Don't worry," Zelda assures me with another comforting smile. I shift my eyes towards the right, ignoring them.

"Whatever. I don't care anymore," I say abruptly.

"You're lying," Peach sing songs.

I quirk an eyebrow. "And why do you believe that?"

"Because your face gives it all away. You are clearly lying. Your face is bright red, and we all know that you secretly care a great deal about Marth. You're the only one living with him now. You two might as well get hitched," the Toadstool says again with an amused look in her eye. I roll my eyes.

"Peach, I'm not lying," I begin to explain, "I'm dealing with other issues, and my relationship with Marth isn't one of them."

"Like your sexuality?" Zelda butts in. "You know you want Marth out of all the guys in the world. He's really good at satisfying women at night."

Dear God, kill me. I've already had enough sex talk last night with Marth, and I don't want to hear how well he does it in bed.

"Zelda, Peach," I direct at both of them. "I appreciate the fact that you guys are concerned about my love life, but that is something I'm really not focused on as of now. It's sweet – it's extremely sweet of you guys to care about me like that. But.... I don't know. I don't think Marth would ever look at me in that way. I don't think it'd be possible. I mean, Roy and Link were both my guy friends, yet they didn't want me at all. What is so special about Marth, anyway? He doesn't give a shit about what I do."

"That's not true," Peach cuts in as she furrows her brow. "That is so not true. Remember the time you slid down the ice lake? You know... When everyone says it wasn't stable, and the ice started to crack? You fell down in the water, holding on to the ice... and Marth was the first one to walk on the lake to get you out. He dove in the water to help you and escort you to the ground. He was impatient; he didn't want to wait till the ambulance came to get you out of there. He had to go in the water himself to save you. He didn't waste time. He knew that you needed him."

"That was a one time, emergency thing," I state factually. I seriously don't want to read into these small things. I cannot over analyze things like I did before.

"No, you know it's not. He cares for you. There's more, but you're blind to it. He stayed in the hospital with you to make sure you were okay. He refused to go and attend that lecture from that famous cook, Kirby Warpstar, until you were out of the hospital. Isn't that clear that he really, truly, deeply cares for you?" Zelda inquires at me.

I bite my bottom lip and pause. Surely, what they're saying is correct. Marth does seem to care for me. He's done a lot more than I ever asked him to. He is always there. Everyone else has left our apartment and gotten busy with their own lives, but he's still there with me. Why?

"Anyway," the Hylian snaps me out of my thoughts, "We'll stop talking about this for now. We don't want to force our ideas on you. All we're saying is to observe, Samus. Observe what's going on right now because everything seems obvious. Remember this, Samus, you can't help how you feel. I know you've tried to repress your emotions in the past, but I always see you get more depressed."

I nod, but the brunette has more to say. She sweeps up her white handbag from the floor and fishes around for something. Once she finds the object she's looking for, she smiles and hands it over to me. It's a CD with a clear case, and on the CD is written "Zelda's Romance Mix" in Sharpie. I stare at it curiously.

"Put that on if you ever plan to get with Marth,"she tells me with another grin.

I quirk an eyebrow, and attempt to shrug it off. Zelda and Peach begin to discuss what's in and what's out for winter season fashion. But I sit there, confused and thoughtful. For a slight moment, I wonder what it would be like if Marth and I were in a relationship. Since when did I become so aware of all of this? Did Zelda and Peach really have to point this out to me? No. Wait. "Sweet dreams." That phrase always means something to me. I pay more attention to it rather than anything else that Marth says. He says it to me every night.

I still sit there, pondering. I'm starting to feel indifferent at Le Petite Café. I am like a void that exists, and yet why is my mind still hung up about Marth? I can't keep my mind off of him. God damn it, Zelda and Peach... You guys are the worst. You're making me think about a guy who I've only thought of as a brother. You're pointing out all of these little things that would make any girl feel happy. I feel ashamed. I feel as if I should've noticed all of these things he's been doing. I have a delayed reaction when it comes to emotions. I think I may be falling for one of my best guyfriends again, Marth Lowell.

* * *

He's early. He's never early, but tonight he is. I'm anxiously sit back on that grey sofa in the living room of the apartment, waiting for Marth to come back. Jesus Christ, I feel like a housewife waiting for her husband to come home. And I absolutely despise feeling like a housewife.

He tosses his keys in the air like he always does and snatches them. He happily grins at me.

"Hey."

I stare, observe. He's still smiling at me. Could he really be in love with a girl like me?

"Hey," I say back, tugging a smile on.

"What are you still doing here?" He asks curiously as he walks towards the sofa. Pausing, I feel my body stiffen.

"Oh, um... I'm... uh..." Shit, the cat has got my tongue. I can't think of anything I want to say to him right now.

"I was wondering if you'd like to talk to me more about your past relationships!" I spit out.

… Why am I always so honest with him again? Talk about being awkward.

"Yeah? What else do you want to know?" He asks, seating himself down on the sofa next to me. He doesn't seem offended at all. He is more than willing to let me know anything.

"Um... Umm... I've got nothing," I admit. I hate it when guys do that. I know what I want to say to them, but they bewitch me. Bam. I'm left speechless because I'm in the presence of one dumb guy.

He smirks, "Then how about I ask you a few questions about your past relationships." He winks at me. My body freezes. There's nothing interesting about my love life. Everything is plain and boring. But what's the harm? It's only fair that he can ask me about this stuff.

"What do you want to know?"

"Why are you always so pessimistic about love? I've noticed that a lot from when I talk to Zelda or Peach. They always mention how you're so.... independent. I mean, I respect that and all, but... I honestly don't see why," Marth confesses to me.

Have I always been independent?

".... I guess it may be because I've been screwed over a lot. Or at least, I feel like it."

"How so?"

"I fell in love with two of my closest friends. And you know them very well. Roy and... Link," I tell him.

"Go on. I know _of_ it, but I don't fully fathom what went on," he says.

"Of course you don't. Nobody does. Nobody understands how the way I felt for Roy and Link. Even with all of your relationships, I doubt you've ever felt the way I did before. Like... how do I say this? It's... hard. Love is hard. I first fell for Roy. He... was the one that pushed me. He never gave up hope in me. He was the one I could go to for support. He's so brilliant... Normally, I used to feel always stupid and careless as a kid because that's what adults always told me. But... Roy always made me feel smart no matter what. He'd reassure me that I wasn't "stupid". And that if I wanted to be smart, then I shouldn't be listening to anyone else's words but my own ," I smile sadly. My heart pricks a bit as I remember everything about Roy when we were little.

"I remember when I was a kid, he'd always comfort me when I'd have nightmares about my parents' deaths and the Space Pirates. He'd always hold me. He wouldn't say anything, but I could tell by the way I was held that I was loved. I would never feel safer in anywhere else. I'd feel as if I belonged there with him."

Marth casts his eyes down on the coffee table. He processes this information through his head.

"I see," he says finally, nodding his head.

"I had to get over him. I told him my feelings, and he understood completely. He told me, 'Samus, I think of you nothing but as a little sister. I can't be with you. I'm sorry. If you feel that you can't be friends with me anymore, then that's fine. I understand.' But I couldn't ever bear to leave Roy. Roy was a huge part of me. I loved him more than a brother. Though, those feelings died... I now understand that what I felt for him wasn't true love. It was definitely love, but not the love that should be felt for a guy. That love isn't what I should have," I explain as I face Marth. He still avoids eye contact with me, and he ponders on all of these explanations.

He nods again before saying, "I see.... What about Link? Did you love Link in a different manner?"

"Of course. You never feel the same thing for anyone. It's always a different love you feel for each person. With Link? The love I felt for Link was different. He made me feel... alive, amazing, and beautiful. He didn't have to say a word. He made me feel that way. Sometimes, I'd wake up in the morning, and I would feel happy to be alive. I felt so lucky to have such an amazing guy like Link in my life. Link always knows how to make me laugh. Whenever he'd made me laugh or smile, he'd do it in a way where it felt _good_ inside."

I turn at Marth again, but he doesn't face me. He is just nodding his head and acting as if he does understand. I wonder if he truly does...

"I never did tell him how I felt. Right when I was about to confess, he told me how he fancied Zelda. When I saw them together, I couldn't help but notice what they felt for each other. I would feel like an intruder when they were together. So, I never did end up telling Link how I felt until I was over it.

"Both of those guys turned my life upside down and my life wasn't mine anymore. I wanted to be with them. I didn't care what would happen the next day, a year, or even fifty years from then. I only wanted to stay by their side and not care about tomorrow. Live for today. I felt my heart belonged to them. I didn't need those fancy chocolates, flowers, or acts of devotion. I wanted to know if they loved me. I needed to know only that, and I would be happy.

"But love is so misleading. If either of them ever said, 'I love you', I'd get confused. I don't know what they means by that anymore. There was pain – a lot of pain. Too much pain. This pain isn't something you can ignore. Oh, no. It gets under your skin and never leaves you. It doesn't only hurt your chest; it hurts your mind, soul, and whole body. You can't keep your mind off of that person. Your mind repeats all of those little things they say or do. Those things they say like, 'You're awesome; you're my lifesaver" or if he simply smiles at you. You examine all of those little things. They don't even half understand how much you care and love them. And it hurts so much.... you want it to end because you know it's unbearable."

I take a deep breath and try to smile. Why does my heart still feel like it's breaking again?

"Can you believe that love does that? I don't understand it at all. I don't understand why this "love" hurts. I see people who "love". I mean, are guys supposed to be that perfect guy who can cook the perfect pasta, clean the toilet after his girlfriend, and give her flowers for no reason? No... I don't think love should be like that. People should fall in love for someone with flaws. I loved Roy and Link because of their flaws. I only wanted a part of their lives. Love caught me completely off-guard."

Marth quirks a smile and chuckles, "I see. Well, I'm a heartless jerk."

"How so?" I inquire playfully. "Oh wait, don't answer that question. You slept with all of those women and..."

"Hey hey! Don't start with all of that petty shit about sex, Samus. Sex does count a lot for love because it's a way to express how you feel for a lady. But I'm a heartless jerk because I've broken so many hearts... A lot of girls are clingy, and sometimes.... they go and still try pursue a relationship with me," he explains. "I'm impressed to see how deeply you can fall for a person."

"Why? Have you never felt that way for a woman?"

"Nope. Never. I probably came really close to it."

Close to it? How did Marth ever get "close to it? I wouldn't ever think that Altean would feel the way I did for Link or Roy.

"There was this one girl I was in love with. Her name was Lynn. She had nice, long, green hair, and didn't easily fall for my charms. She would brush them off. She gave me a good chase. She and I also could connect easily," he tells me.

He stretches his arms up and yawns. Shifting his body, he moves to a vertical position on the long sofa to relax. His feet are only a inches away from me. I don't have a foot fetish, but I notice how nice his toes are long, slender, and clean. His skin is a perfect ivory color. God, what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I so aware of his existence now?

"What did you do with her?" I ask, still noticing at his feet.

"She and I were on the fencing team at high school. Her dream would be to fence with the Great Ike. So with my power, I was able to set up a date with Lynn where Ike gave her an hour lesson with fencing. He let her wield The Great Aether. After the lesson, I asked her if she would become my girlfriend," he explains as he pauses. This is really touchy for him. I should probably stop asking him these questions. But I'm so curious to know more.

"... And?"

He smirks, "She said, 'Would that change anything?' I paused right then and thought about it. I took my time to think about what she said, and I replied with, 'No. No, it wouldn't.'"

"... What the hell was that supposed to mean!?"

"You don't get what I'm saying?"

"No! Of course not! What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I don't understand that at all," I exclaim in confusion.

He sighs, "It means that I didn't have to ask her to be my girlfriend. She already was. Just by asking her out, we were together. We didn't need to declare ourselves as "boyfriend and girlfriend" to be in a relationship. We already were in a relationship where we deeply cared for each other."

Oh, God. That makes sense. Wow, I'm truly pathetic with love.

".... Oh."

"Yeah," he says with a smile.

"What happened between you two?" I ask curiously.

"She moved to Caelin. And then... she changed. She changed without me. I understand people will always change, but I'd like to change with her. That's what I wanted with her. It's a shame; I so would've liked to do reverse cowgirl with her."

Darn, why is he talking about sex again? And more importantly, sex positions?!

"What? Oh, I get it. Would _you_ like to do it with me?" Those words fly right out of my mouth.

… What did I just say?!! Oh GOD. I want to suck those words back in. Why the fuck did I say that in front of Marth Lowell, one of my best guyfriends?!? I cannot ruin another friendship! I can't get dirty with a guy like Marth. His face is expressionless. It's stone-cold and stunned. Oh God, he's giving me that funny look as if he's shocked to even know that I'm interested in guys. But wait... is he now... smirking?

"Sure, but you won't be able to handle me. If you ride me, it'll be the ride of your life," he tells me with a wink.

"Don't say that for sure! I may not look like it, but I've ridden other things in my life before," I flirt. I hope I don't get too dirty with Marth. Maybe this is a good change...

"Yeah? But I bet you've never ridden a man before. You're not the type who could handle being on top. You are a virgin after all," he states with another enormous grin on his face.

"Well, it's better to live one year as a tiger than a hundred as sheep " I declare.

"There you go again. Quoting Madonna," he tells me bitterly.

"Well, Madonna was the awakening of my sexuality with "Like a Virgin" because do you know what you make me feel?" I ask as he shakes his head no. "You make me feel... shiny and new like a virgin touched for the very first time."

He genuinely grins at me again with his eyes beaming.

"So will you give it to me or not?" I demand fearlessly.

"Maybe... It depends if you want some hot, thick, sticky fluid from me," he says.

"I'd want that. I get really thirsty at night."

"Do you want a mouthful? Because I plan to douse your throat with it," he tells me.

I don't know if this is getting good or bad. We're getting dirtier and dirtier with each sentence.

"Hmm... That sounds nice. But that's too bad that you'll be coming because if you're coming, there'll no way I'll be coming," I ponder as I also wink at him.

"Well, then I'll have to make sure that you'll be coming.... twice."

"But what if we don't come together at the right time?"

"I'll make sure you'll be coming when I'm coming," he flirts back. I smile at him.

"You're very dirty tonight," I comment, half-amused.

"Well, that's because I haven't showered yet and you're teasing me... Do you want to come with me in the shower?" Marth asks me.

"I'll be coming as long as you're coming in the shower," I respond.

"Oh good. Then you could lick it all off like the dirty, little girl you are," he tells me. "But sadly, I really do have to shower, Samus."

"Alright, I'll let you do your thing."

"With you? Or inside of you?"

"OFF TO THE SHOWERS, BOY!!!" I demand angrily.

Another grin cracks on my face. I can't help it; I feel a bit better now. I feel... desired – more loved. But wait, why am I doing this again? Am I seriously taking what Zelda and Peach said into account? No, I can't. Marth is just another friend. Marth is a playboy. I should know that. I can't fall in love. Love would destroy my career, my relationships, and everything. I can't afford to sacrifice this for this silly emotion.

"Sweet dreams, Samus."

And he says that to me again. "Sweet dreams". Some things don't ever change, now do they? I hesitate for another second before giving him an answer:

"Sweet dreams, Marth."

* * *

Things always work out in the end. Peach forgave Roy, and life for them is as dandy as it always was. Roy is back in the safety of his apartment with Peach... and loads of forgiveness sex. Link got a hold of Mario and had him fish out Zelda's engagement ring out of the pipes. So now, Link is all set to get down on his knee and pop the question tonight. Marth and I? Marth and I... have continued to flirt. I don't get it. We haven't talked about risking our relationship at all. Maybe it's all due to Christmas heading around the corner, but he hasn't said anything about it at all.

It's Christmas Eve. And I don't know what I'm doing right now. I can't sleep. A disturbing dream is keeping me up. And it's so scary. I have to make sure it won't ever come true. It's silly, but I'm scared. It's already eleven-thirty. Normally, I'd be in bed on Christmas Eve. But... for some reason, I don't want to be alone. As stupid as it sounds, I want someone to hold me right now. I want someone to hold me while I sleep. That person doesn't even need to have sex with me. I just want to fall asleep in someone's arms feeling protected and cared for. I hate to admit it, but I want Marth to hold me. I want Marth to make me feel this way. And I hate falling for him so easily...

"You're cute," he declares suddenly as soon as I see him.

He ruffles his perfect blue hair to shake off the snow while locking the apartment door. He's just came home from the kitchen at the restaurant he works at. I see he has some leftovers with the huge styrofoam take out boxes. He removes his coat and hangs it up as I glance up from my laptop at him. My eyes stop focusing on the comment box of my movie review of _Savage World_.

"Hmm?"

"You're extremely cute," he declares again.

".... Okay? I disagree with you there, Marth. I'm not "cute". "Cute" is something you'd want to say for your pet," I say as I try to examine more comments about my article.

"Guess what? I don't have a pet. So you know what? You're cute to me."

"I'm not that cute. I absolutely deny this. I'm not cute. That's a fact."

"Too late. I've made up my mind. You're the cutest girl out there, Samus Aran."

I feel my body freeze. There is this fluttery feeling in my heart. I know this feeling all too well. Jesus, why am I feeling _this_ again? I don't want to feel this again. I will never admit that I like Marth Lowell. I'll never say it. I can't make up my mind for something like this too easily. I don't want to like him in that way. I don't want to be vulnerable again because I know what he can do with my heart. Once I give him my heart, he could break it, lose it, or even worse, forget about it.

"... Thank you, Marth." Trying to hide my embarrassment, I slouch my body down so that the laptop screen can conceal this.

The corners of his mouth turn upwards, "You're welcome."

"Anyway, so do you have some food from the kitchen?" I want to remain casual with him. I really shouldn't flirt with him anymore. Yes, stop this. This is already bad as enough as it is.

"Yeah. I figured you'd get hungry at this hour. You've had dinner from like, what? Four hours ago? And what are you still doing up, by the way? You should be in bed, Missy!" He lectures as he waves his finger like he's an old schoolteacher.

"It's fucking cold over here. I didn't.... want to go to bed yet. Not now. I had a weird dream from my nap earlier. I had a dream of you... You had an accident. You were walking the way home on the crosswalk, and some crazy driver off the streets lost control with his car due to the ice. His car swiveled out of control and it... it got on the crosswalk and hit you," I say, trembling.

Chills are running down my spine for telling him that dream. I'm frozen, petrified. What would happen if I lost Marth? How long would it take for the pain to go away? Would I forget about him easily? No... I think not. It'd be worse than trying to get over him. Humans always take other humans for granted. Even if they love that person, they still don't realize how much that person's existence means in the world unless it's gone.

I thought he would've just smile nonchalantly, bop my head, and call me silly. But he only smiles out of reassurance, "I promise you that I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay right here with you."

I look at him. That simple phrase itself does wonders for me. My heart is glowing and fluttering around like a butterfly contained in my ribcage. It desperately wants to fly out and into Marth's arms... as corny as that sounds.

"You know, it's weird... I read any article today talking about how old couples get closer and are more in love with their partner after retirement, but there's less sex. I want to be like that one day. I want to fall more in love with my special someone because my body will be all disgusting and crap. If I find a guy who will do that with me, I'd be happy. I would know that I've picked the right one. I think that's what love is more about. It's more about living in the present as opposed to living for the future or in the past," I pause as I look at him again. There is this gleaming look on his face which makes me feel extremely shy. "What? What's with that smile?"

He is still smiling, "Nothing. I just think it's a great idea. I want a relationship like that as well. It's like the "I want to grow old with you" thing. And I'd love to do that with my special somebody for a really long time."

"Why is it that love is so hard to find, Marth? I'm serious about this. I don't understand... I've been waiting and waiting for a long time now... When will that right person come to me?" I question. Though, I know the answer to this question, but Marth just shrugs.

"I don't know. My mom always told me, 'You give up too easily. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after. If you're looking for something, you're either not looking hard enough or it's staring at you right in the face.' I'd like to believe what she says about that. I think love is the same thing. You're either not looking hard enough or love is staring at you right in the face. Sometimes, I would think that people get disillusioned to their image of love since they spend all of their lives looking for it," he explains as I nod my head.

"Makes sense."

"Anyway," he begins to say, "I have some leftovers from the kitchen and I want you to try them."

"Okay."

"So, I cooked some lamb and there was a lot of left over the kitchen. I'm glad you'll be trying some of it."

I nod my head. His face beams, and he pops open the containers as he hands me a clear, plastic fork. I pull a grin on my face, and take the fork from him. Handling the styrofoam container, I sink my fork into some lamb and take a bite.

… If there was a way to describe how happy his food makes me, it would be amazing. The lamb is so tender and soft. The rich taste of it savors in my mouth. I can taste the organic seasonings that Marth must have delicately placed on the meat. All of them produce a wonderful flavor in my mouth. Red wine has the slightest tingle in my mouth. I have only three words to say.

"Oh... my... GOD."

He smirks, "You like it?"

"Yes!" I say with my mouth full. I stab another slice of lamb from the container and toss it in my mouth. After chewing a while and swallowing, I have more to tell him, "Oh my God... This is sooooo good. Marth, this is wonderful. I'm speechless. You know what? You were right. Screw your writing career. You should cooking dishes for the Master Hand and all of the other Big Bosses of Nintendo City."

"Hey, once you're done eating the lamb. I also want you to try the dessert as well," he explains to me as he lifts up another container in view.

I nod my head and continue to feast on my course. With each slice of lamb, it never gets old. Each bite is just as satisfactory as the first piece of lamb. After finishing the last bit, I take one of the paper napkins that Marth gave me and wipe my mouth clean. He sets the other container down on the coffee table. I delightedly smile and wave my fork in the air.

"So, what are you going to surprise me with next?" I eagerly demand.

"Well, I don't know. You'll see," he says with a wink. He leans over and uncovers the container and reveals a dark substance.

Cake. Oh Jesus Christ. He knows that I love cake. I confess that I'm not the biggest fan of sweets, but I absolutely adore chocolate cake. This looks delicious! Thick, chocolate mousse surrounds this three layered cake with dark frosting smothered all over it. A small chocolate bar tops off this royal dessert, giving it an elegant look. I lull over this beautiful piece of eatable artwork before drilling my fork into the tip of the slice.

I open my mouth and place the bit of cake inside. It's delicious. The moist, sweet, creamy filling of the cake and the chocolate mousse dances on my tongue. This chocolate overdose is so good. I look at Marth with the cake still in my mouth, and he's grinning. My face gives it all away. I chew and swallow before I smile at him as well.

"You have some chocolate over here," he tells me as he leans over.

Using his right thumb, he wipes away the bit of chocolate at the corner of my mouth. He holds the left side of my face while his azure eyes are gazing into mine. I see the understanding in his eyes and the lovingness for me. He is like me; he's lonely. There is so much longing in his eyes. Right now, I want him to kiss my cares away. I know it sounds lame, but it's true. Please, Marth. I want to forget about all the struggles I have with life.

Instead, he averts his eyes down on the ground and lets me go. His body coolly turns away from me as he heads towards the kitchen. He inhales a deep breath before turning on sink. He places some rubber gloves on. One by one, he picks up a dirty dish and cleanses it with dish detergent and water. My heart feels like it's pummeling down in my body ever since he left me here. He's ignoring me.

I continue to take another bite of the cake and think about what Peach and Zelda told me. I observe Marth. He's still washing the dishes, and I feel sad. Why? I don't know. I won't ever admit this feeling though. I don't want to get into another messy business, but I'm so confused right now. I want to love, but I don't want to love someone right now. My career as a writer is rising, and I don't want to stop for anything. Then again, I'm so lonely. I sometimes also get disillusioned with other things and I feel depressed over random shit. Remembering what Zelda gave me, I look over to the stereo system. It should have Zelda's mix inside of it. Grabbing the remote control, I press the arrowed key as a familiar tune begins to play.

_I never loved nobody fully,_

_Always one foot on the ground,_

_And by protecting my heart truly,_

_I got lost in the sounds._

Regina Spektor's "Fidelity". Hah, nice pick, Zelda. Why are you still butting in my love life even when you're not around? I glance over at Marth. Does he ever realize what song I'm playing right now? Peach, Zelda, I think you guys are right about Marth... Why else does he act this way towards me? As I finish up the last few bites of my cake, I listen to the climax of the song.

_I hear in my mind all of these voices,_

_I hear in my mind all of these words,_

_I hear in my mind all of this music,_

_And it breaks my heart,_

_And it breaks my heart..._

"Marth?" I call for him.

"Hm?" He says, turning his head towards me.

"I want to ask you something."

He sighs. Pulling off his rubber gloves, he brushes his blue bangs out of his eyesight and strides towards me. His crystalline, azure orbs meet mine in an understanding way.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Do you care for me?"

There is a shock in his face. It's natural; he didn't expect me to demand such a thing from him. He averts his eyes down to the cold, hardwood floor again. He smiles softly as his face fills up with tenderness. Does he always have such a fond, affectionate look on his face? His eyes dart back towards mine.

"Yes. I care about you more than you think I would," he answers with a smile.

A fleeting feeling comes to my heart. I feel as if it's soaring up in my chest. I am right. I should've noticed this earlier. How could I have been so oblivious?

"Marth, tell me the truth. How do you feel about me?" I question slowly.

There. Those words are out in the open. I am finally able to get this obsessed question out of my head. I would think that Marth would be shocked by what I've asked, but no. His face remains calm and composed.

"I like you.... No, wait. That's an understatement. Samus, I _love_ you. I always have, and you've never realized it," he confesses. Ever since I've asked that question, his eyes have not wandered away from mine. His eyes are still directed on me.

"Why though? Why me? There are millions of girls here in Nintendo City. All of them are smarter, prettier, more girly, and interesting. Why would you like someone like me? I'm boring. I'm a tomboy, and there is nothing special about me," I ask as my eyes shift away from his sight. I honestly don't see how he could love me. I don't understand how I'm "lovable" to someone. His eyes do not hover away; they are staring straight at me.

"On the contrary, I find you to be fascinating. You're different, but that's what makes you cute. Sure, you're not like the other girls I've been with, but I love you for that. I like how you remind me a bit of myself, but not completely. So, I can relate to you more compared to most people here," he clarifies as he smiles again at me. "I want to spend time with you because I love the conversations we have about life. You provide similar, yet different experiences."

He looks me in the eye and he moves closer. Oh God, he's coming closer to me. I like this feeling, but I don't want him to get too close...

"Samus, now it's your turn. How do you feel about me? Surely, the way you've been acting isn't something you do on a daily basis with other males," he states.

God, he's so right. He knows the real me. And I like him for that, but I also hate him as well. I hate how I'm honest with him all the time.

"... I like you," I admit, "but I don't want to like you."

His body stuns. I'm aware of how he's feeling right now. I'm sending him a lot of invisible pain through those few words. Those words themselves are like glass splinters and they're making their way into his own heart. My words will be his demise. I don't want to do this, but I am.

"... What do you mean?"

"I like you, but I don't want to like you, Marth. I just... I just can't do this again."

He frowns and his eyes shift downwards. No, Marth... Don't take this the wrong way. I know that I want to love you, but I can't fully. Whatever you do, please understand what I'm saying.

"I... I don't want to be hurt again. Marth, I confess that I like you, but I don't want to be in a relationship with you. Don't take this personally, but it's me. I can't let anyone get inside of my heart again. I can't bear to have another love because I'm not ready for it. I want to protect myself. I don't want to be vulnerable in love again. I don't want my life to revolve around one person."

He lets out a scoff. His face turns away from me as he focuses his attention towards the stereo system. I know this will be rough, but I want him to understand. I don't want to stop my life for anyone. I must learn to be independent.

"And why should you be scared? Samus, in love, you always risk something. You can't protect yourself from me. I'm already inside of your heart. You can't ignore this. Samus... Why are you trying so hard to protect yourself? Nobody said you had to give up your liberties as a human to love me. I'm not going to take anything valuable away from you. You can't live life this way. You and your cynicism will only have you lonely for the rest of your life. What are you afraid of from me? That I won't commit? That I won't love you in the next minute? What do you need from me?" He demands. He was once calm, but his temper is getting the best of him.

I suck in a breath of air and bite my tongue. His face is no longer filled with warmness. Instead, I can see the frustration in his eyes. There's a glimmer in his eyes, tears. They're brimming up and this is the first time I've seen him get so emotional over something. Of course, there are issues. I am skeptical of how mutual these feelings are. He has been still doing some some crazy things and I have no idea what he wants out of this.

"Yes, I have to say that I don't know for sure if you would really commit. Marth, you have to understand that I don't know how to trust you in a relationship because I've seen you with other women. I've seen you go off and have tons of hook ups. I don't know if you could reassure me that your feelings are mutual. I want to be in a relationship where everything is definite. I want to know that you'll be with me. I know I don't look like it, but I need security in a romantic relationship. That's what I truly need.... Look at us... One by one, Roy, Link, Peach, and Zelda have left our apartment. All of us on Half-Time are no longer together in one place. We're no longer fully connected. Instead, we've broken up into three groups."

"Samus, don't blame me for something that's happened in the past!" The bluehead snaps. "Sure, I wanted fun. Do you know why I wanted some fun with Peach and Zelda? It was because I myself got lonely. It took me a long, good, damn time to realize that sex does not make me feel less lonely and more desired. It only makes me feel more lonely. I thought that the more people I surrounded myself with would make me feel the way I wanted to feel. It took me a God _damned_, long time to figure this out!"

What does he take me for? Some blonde ditz? Does he seriously think I'll just believe him that easily? There is no way I'll ever be deceived or hurt by Marth Lowell! I won't believe what he says until he's proven it to me!

"I still don't know that for sure! You haven't made it clear to me. You've claimed that you've gotten over your hook up phase, but I don't know that! You leave every second week of a Friday and don't return till Saturday afternoon! How the fuck am I supposed to believe you for that? How do I know if you're not knocking up some prostitute in downtown Nintendo City?" I furiously shout. Now I'm pissed as well. I can't believe that jerkface!

"Do you really want to know? Do you really want to know what I've been doing? I've been visiting Altea! Six months ago... Six fucking months ago, I realized that I wanted you. Just you. You. You were like Lynn in some ways. You didn't react to my advances. You saw right through me. Whenever I am with you, I can't help but being honest. I let you see all different sides of me. And not once have you ever rejected me," he explains.

The tears in his eyes are evaporating, and his eyes are brimmed with determination.

"I have been visiting Altea... I've been visiting every girl I've had a fling with and attempted to talk to them. Some shut the door in my faces and didn't want to see me again. Some told me that I was an asshole or jerk or a douche bag. Some actually took the time to talk to me about what happened. And some wanted me to get back together with them. But I took those times to talk to them and understand where I went wrong. I did my best to comprehend how I could fully love you. And guess what? I've learned how to all because of you," he tells me.

With his back straight, I see the pride in his saunter. What am I doing? Why am I making him feel guilty? Why should I cause grief when we're both in love? Why? I'm horrible. I'm a monster. Why should I break his love? This is Christmas Eve! This is when people need tender loving rather than emotional pain and guilt. He confidently strides over to me, and places both of his hands on each side of my face. No... Why? I feel the salty liquid form up in my eyes. Marth, I'm so sorry. I want and don't want to love you at the same time. The teardrops fall down my cheeks and that old playboy wipes them away with his thumbs.

"Samus, I love you. I _love_ you. I don't know what I'll have to do to prove it to you, but don't be afraid. I have no intentions to hurt you. And if I do end up hurting you, well... it's like they say, isn't it? 'Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.' Because guess what? This moment... this opportunity is your chance to experience a rare happiness that only I can give you. I want to be in your life. I want to experience some moments with you. And yet, I also want to live my own life. I only want you to be by my side... And if that isn't enough, then I don't know what is," he asserts.

He brings my face closer to him and our eyes meet again. Right now, I have never seen such determination nor confidence in a man's eyes when he has declared his love for me. He wraps his arms around me, and I feel the warmness in his body. I'm feeling something different. But this different feeling is nice.... should I feel this nice about something foreign? His embrace makes me feel secure right now.

"I may not hold you the way Roy did. And I may not make you laugh the way Link did. But I will love you in way that nobody else has loved you. I guarantee you that. I will never leave your side. I want to cherish each day I spend with you because I never know when I'm going to lose you. I will love you in a way in which you'll learn that you can only be yourself when to love. You will learn to not be afraid of love anymore. That's what I'll do for you, Samus."

He lets go of me, and has me face him. The tears are welling up again in my eyes again. I try to not look at him because I don't want him to see me like this. But no, he takes both of his hands and places them on my face again. He lifts my face towards him and smiles understandingly.

"There is no need to hide from me, Samus. You know that. I said that I'm not going anywhere, didn't I? I'll stay right here with you. And I have every intention to keep my word."

"Marth," my voice warbles, "I feel the same way for you... I love you too. I love you.... as much as I don't want to admit it; I can't help this feeling."

He smiles once more and brings his face closer to mine. Our lips meet and I've never felt better. My arms wrap around his neck, and he grabs me by the waist. He continues press his lips against mine, and there is so much affection he feels for me through one kiss. When we've stopped, I don't let go of him.

"I love you," I whisper again in his right ear.

His face beams again. He lets go of me completely, and he tucks a lock of my golden hair behind my ear. "I love you too," he tells me again.

For this small moment, I don't pay attention to the outside snowflakes softly drifting down to the ground. I don't pay attention to the Nintendo City's bell that is chiming the mark of midnight. I don't pay attention to the fact that it's now officially Christmas. Instead, my eyes are still locked on Marth Lowell. Our similar cerulean eyes meet with each other and they say it all. We will continue to flourish this love. He knows that I hope this relationship will last a very long time. The corners of my mouth seize upwards as he does as well.

People always believe they need those fancy presents for Christmas: expensive jewelry, clothing, toys, and all of that other junk. Why should material goods define a relationship? I don't need any of that shit from Marth. I just need him. Heh, he probably knew what it must have felt like for me. He must've known what it feels like so that he could properly confess his feelings. He probably knew what it felt like for a girl to be in love.

And I adore him for that. That, my friends, is a love that is not only rare, but unconditional. I bet everyone is curious to know what it feels like for a girl to be love. Nobody will know what it feels like in this world for a girl because... you'll have to experience it yourself.

* * *

_This has to be the crudest oneshot I've written. And to think.... I'LL ONLY GET DIRTIER WITH MY WRITING!!! I should write some erotic stories for y'all. Sadly, I'm not like Samus in which she believes that material goods do not define a relationship... I do! I believe I need presents for Christmas which is a good excuse to get Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock for my Wii! I'll throw a hissy fit at me parents if I don't get it. :(_

_I apologize for not writing in a long while. My school year has been filled with busy work. Lots of busy work, Madonna, work, more Madonna, Ayumi Hamasaki, community service, more & more Madonna, work, essays, MADONNA, and determination-of-my-future-next-year letters. I also needed some time off other things. I've been playing The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (OMG, CHIEF, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR GETTING ME THAT!!! YOU ARE MY TWIN!!!) and that has been entertaining._

_RK, you're my Mummy. I love you. I hope you enjoyed this oneshot. We should chat it up sometime with yo' headset! ;)_

_Happy Holidays to all! Once again, you all have my best._

_-BKP_


End file.
